Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Thursday, March 25, 2010
I hate waking up, and being back in the real world.
I had a really good dream last night, it started off just me and adam going to prom. For some reason, it was in like, New York or something. But throughout the dream I was getting ready. It might not have been prom, but it seemed like it. Everyone was all dressed up.
It's hard to remember, but my family and his family or whatever was staying in a big appartment building. It didn't even seem like adam, because it wasn't things he would do, i guess it was just his face. and kind of didn't seem like me, but my feelings felt real.
There were more things in the dream that he did that was sweet, but I can't really remember. Just coming to my door and kissing me, or wanting me to talk to him really bad, or stuff like that. It's hard to remember.
I was standing out on a balcany or something, watching down on the street where everyone was dressed up and it was late at night and adam started singing to me, it was loud like it was a concert and he ended up standing beside me holding my face and singing to me with everyone watching, it was so sweet. It was a slow song with sweet lyrics, I wish I could remember it. Later in the dream, my mom and my gma were driving me around and talking about adam asking them something and getting ready to do something sweet, and how perfect he was.
They dropped me off on the street where everyone was dressed up and I started walking and he came up walking behind me and asked me to marry him, i ran up to him crying and hugged him and he kissed me, blah blah blah..
It seems stupid talking about it now, but in the dream I felt SO loved. That's why it was amazing, because I will never feel that loved in my life.
I wish it was real.
I know this means nothing to anyone reading it. But I woke up feeling that loved, and it felt so good. But it went away so soon. I don't know why. I guess because it's unrealistic.
I felt like talking about it because it wasn't just the feeling you get when someone says something sweet, it was the feeling you get when you get you're heart broken, that strong, but just the opposite.
It was so weird.
I wish me and every girl who wanted to, could feel that loved once in their life.
My life consists of working, and being asked to do stuff for people. I never get to feel that loved, or needed. It depresses me.
bye.
It's hard to remember, but my family and his family or whatever was staying in a big appartment building. It didn't even seem like adam, because it wasn't things he would do, i guess it was just his face. and kind of didn't seem like me, but my feelings felt real.
There were more things in the dream that he did that was sweet, but I can't really remember. Just coming to my door and kissing me, or wanting me to talk to him really bad, or stuff like that. It's hard to remember.
I was standing out on a balcany or something, watching down on the street where everyone was dressed up and it was late at night and adam started singing to me, it was loud like it was a concert and he ended up standing beside me holding my face and singing to me with everyone watching, it was so sweet. It was a slow song with sweet lyrics, I wish I could remember it. Later in the dream, my mom and my gma were driving me around and talking about adam asking them something and getting ready to do something sweet, and how perfect he was.
They dropped me off on the street where everyone was dressed up and I started walking and he came up walking behind me and asked me to marry him, i ran up to him crying and hugged him and he kissed me, blah blah blah..
It seems stupid talking about it now, but in the dream I felt SO loved. That's why it was amazing, because I will never feel that loved in my life.
I wish it was real.
I know this means nothing to anyone reading it. But I woke up feeling that loved, and it felt so good. But it went away so soon. I don't know why. I guess because it's unrealistic.
I felt like talking about it because it wasn't just the feeling you get when someone says something sweet, it was the feeling you get when you get you're heart broken, that strong, but just the opposite.
It was so weird.
I wish me and every girl who wanted to, could feel that loved once in their life.
My life consists of working, and being asked to do stuff for people. I never get to feel that loved, or needed. It depresses me.
bye.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
been
in a bad mood lately.
ive always been the one walked over. im mean, but not to the people i love, and it slaps me in the face. im done with that. i'm not kissing anyones ass anymore. ever. in any situation. i wouldnt kiss the presidents ass right now. never will, i don't like him anyways.
im tired of working, tired of getting called into work when i have a day off, and tired of seeming like i never can do anything because of work.
i worked every weekday for 3 weeks. and made a little over 300. i know that seems like a lot. but not when i'm working my ass off everyday. it shouldve been more than that. that place uses theshit out of me.
it isn't fair.
it isn't fair that after 4 years of dating, i still get lied to about stupid crap. i have told you over and over not to lie to me.
i'm just mad right now.
ive always been the one walked over. im mean, but not to the people i love, and it slaps me in the face. im done with that. i'm not kissing anyones ass anymore. ever. in any situation. i wouldnt kiss the presidents ass right now. never will, i don't like him anyways.
im tired of working, tired of getting called into work when i have a day off, and tired of seeming like i never can do anything because of work.
i worked every weekday for 3 weeks. and made a little over 300. i know that seems like a lot. but not when i'm working my ass off everyday. it shouldve been more than that. that place uses theshit out of me.
it isn't fair.
it isn't fair that after 4 years of dating, i still get lied to about stupid crap. i have told you over and over not to lie to me.
i'm just mad right now.
Monday, March 8, 2010
03 08 2010
I finally found me a car, and I'm supposed to be getting it tomorrow. Thanks to Lori :)
I thank both of them for what they have done for me. It's so sweet, it makes me want to cry. It's a 99 Jeep Grand Cherokee, and its burgundy. They inside is grey, like I wanted. It only has 120,000 miles, and she sold it to us for only $4000.
When my grandparents took me to winston road to look at cars, we saw 3 99 jeeps like this one, each for $10,000. Which is insane. I'm so glad i'm getting a deal, I needed it so bad.
So, I went to the eye doctor today. It turns out that I need glasses for reading and driving, and being on the comp, etc.... I only went to get my eyes checked because my doctor told me to because of my migranes. I never thought i'd actually need glasses.
Besides all that new stuff, everythings been pretty normal. Having time to do NOTHING for working every day. :( But I have payments to make every 2 weeks now to pay her back, so i'm going to need some work.
My payments are $105 biweekly for a year. :/ But I'll be okay. Hopefully. At least I know by paying her back instead of the bank, my car wont be taken away if I don't pay. Which is a plus.
I'm so excited.
The bad news is...
when I had my wreck, the car in the opposite lane as me had pulled over to get out of my way when he saw that I lost control, had gotten a VERY small dent in it, apparently from the back end of my car. This dent was above the front weel.
About 5 minutes after I got out of my car, he left. Without talking to anyone.
So two weeks after my accident, he decides to go to the sheriffs department to get my records, go to my insurance company, and ask for money to fix this dent.
..
We knew NOTHING about this, until today. They apparently paid him $2500 to fix a small ass dent. Which puts 2 points on my insurance, which makes it cost about 3 times as much.... what an ASS, right? I'm sure he pocketed $2000 of that. Considering the dent couldve been fixed by a damn plunger. Thank you kind man, for costing me an extra $700 a year, that I DO NOT have!!!
Mom said she's gonna give his number to my dad, and letting my dad handle "his ass." Hahaha. dun dun dunnnnn
I thank both of them for what they have done for me. It's so sweet, it makes me want to cry. It's a 99 Jeep Grand Cherokee, and its burgundy. They inside is grey, like I wanted. It only has 120,000 miles, and she sold it to us for only $4000.
When my grandparents took me to winston road to look at cars, we saw 3 99 jeeps like this one, each for $10,000. Which is insane. I'm so glad i'm getting a deal, I needed it so bad.
So, I went to the eye doctor today. It turns out that I need glasses for reading and driving, and being on the comp, etc.... I only went to get my eyes checked because my doctor told me to because of my migranes. I never thought i'd actually need glasses.
Besides all that new stuff, everythings been pretty normal. Having time to do NOTHING for working every day. :( But I have payments to make every 2 weeks now to pay her back, so i'm going to need some work.
My payments are $105 biweekly for a year. :/ But I'll be okay. Hopefully. At least I know by paying her back instead of the bank, my car wont be taken away if I don't pay. Which is a plus.
I'm so excited.
The bad news is...
when I had my wreck, the car in the opposite lane as me had pulled over to get out of my way when he saw that I lost control, had gotten a VERY small dent in it, apparently from the back end of my car. This dent was above the front weel.
About 5 minutes after I got out of my car, he left. Without talking to anyone.
So two weeks after my accident, he decides to go to the sheriffs department to get my records, go to my insurance company, and ask for money to fix this dent.
..
We knew NOTHING about this, until today. They apparently paid him $2500 to fix a small ass dent. Which puts 2 points on my insurance, which makes it cost about 3 times as much.... what an ASS, right? I'm sure he pocketed $2000 of that. Considering the dent couldve been fixed by a damn plunger. Thank you kind man, for costing me an extra $700 a year, that I DO NOT have!!!
Mom said she's gonna give his number to my dad, and letting my dad handle "his ass." Hahaha. dun dun dunnnnn
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