the new year

So, what's crazy to me is, I graduate in less than a month. It's going to be 2010 in 2 days. I can't believe that. I still remember tenth grade, and even before that, like it was yesturday. It's exciting, yet kind of sad. I'm 18 now though, so i'm going to try and live it up, and keep myself happy. Which has always been hard for me.

One thing I think about 2009; I think it was the BEST movie year ever. So many good movies came out this year.

These aren't huge goals, just things I think I want to do at the start of the year.

Goals:
Lose weight at least before college starts.
Take better care of my body and teeth.
(which includes:) eat healther
Exercise
Buy some clothes, but
Save some money
Spend more time with my family
Start drawing again.


I think that's all I have to say for now. More later.

outie

quick blog

before I go to sleep..

christmas was awesome. I got this laptop :), sims 3 for it, money, 2 new pairs of sweat pants, 3 zip up jackets, a shirt, SOMETHING on my foot ;), Harry Potter and the half blood prince movie and book, harry potter and the order of the pheonix book, ella enchanted, pepper spray, a new steering wheel cover, a black and white checkered vest from adams dad and his gf, bangle bracelets from them also, and the new paramore cd from adam. Julie got me this awesome oil burner, i love it, and gauges. Thank you julie. I'm probably going to run out of oil soon, i've been using it a lot. haha. Hello wal mart.

haha, i think that's it. oh, and his mom got me 3 zaxbys giftcards. i needed those so bad.

I still don't feel 18. But it sucks knowing the only age I have to look forward to now is 21, and then after that....nothing! :X haha.

I've been pretty happy the past few days, or week, and I love that. Me and Adam are getting along good. We were playing patty-cake games at work today. Aha!
I got him Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2, which he loves. I knew he would. And this years gym membership.

I'm enjoying this laptop so much, and Sims. I need to stop playing it. Haha.

Anyways, I'm going to try and sleep. Work at 8 in the morning :( :( suuuuuuuuucks.
Gooodnight, i'll try and blog tomorrow.

....

"Everybody has difficult years, but a lot of times the difficult years end up being the greatest years of your whole entire life, if you survive them,"
-Brittany Murphy

today

is my 18th birthday. I am legal right now, and it blows my mind! The past eighteen years of my life have seriously flown by faster than I'd ever imagined. I'm going to start trying to be more happy and laid back, so I can be less stressed out. The past probably, 4 months, have been nothing but stress for me.. and I hate admitting that. I'm going to start being more optimistic and making myself have better days. Most of all, make myself be more positive throughout the day, about everything.

I will be able to get a tattoo now, whenever I want. I already know what I'm getting. :)
I don't feel any older though.

I saw Avatar the other night, and it was ah-maze-ing. I realized again, for the 1200th time, how much I love fantasy movies. It was awesome. It was 3 hours long, and I enjoyed every minute. Take it from this, Adam said it was awesome, the expert at movie-hating and criticizing. To almost EVERY movie we've seen in the past couple years he said "ehh, it was okay." Ha ha. Suprisingly, he did kinda like new moon, which made me really happy. But the scenery in Avatar was like my dream world. Haha.

I love movies though, so when I say a movie is good, it might not be to you. I just enjoy movies so much. But Avatar is the most expensive movie ever made, like over $300 million, and took like 5 years to make. ALSO; the director or creator or producer or something also made Titanic. Which was also awesome.

ANYWAYSSS.....
i CANT wait for xmas.

tomorrow, i'm doing my christmas shopping. I know it's my birthday, but i really need to get it finished. I have so much to do.
I feel like this blog is really long, so i'm outtie.

RIP Brittany Murphy,
Get well soon, Kayla Flinchum.

<3

so i'm getting bored waiting 'round for you

i'm in yearbook and we are having a christmas party. julie and skylar aren't here :( and it's sleeting(?) outside. it's going to snoowww. but i need to get christmas shopping done!

julie you got a little stuffed animal, a horsey. haha. fingernail polish, some glitter, and a "j" necklace from amanda caswell. kailey liked her present.

skylar i don't know what you got. :)
tyler says "i had her. and i got her a red coffee mug from starbucks and it's really cute."

haha. there you go.

anyways. gone for now


laaata

mom

is taking me to get a tattoo soon. i'm so glad she doesn't care, and isn't the mom to get mad about it.
i love her.

hmmm

I'm about to get ready for work.. story of my life. I'm so excited that it's Christmas time. I love it. I just wish it felt more like christmas. I wish we had decorations for work, like we did a while back.

I don't want to work tonight at all. I'm so tired.
I'm thinking about making a facebook. I might do it tomorrow. I won't have time tonight. I just might need some help.

ttyl. :)

Hope for me is a place uncharted and overgrown.

I know that last blog was really depressing. But it's just how I feel right now. I can't handle everything piling up on me. It's just too much. I. NEED.TIME.OFF. Not to drive around and do shit. To lay in my bed and watch a movie and fall asleep. To lay in my bed and relax. I don't EVER get that.

She lives in a fairy tale
Somewhere too far for us to find
Forgotten the taste and smell
Of the world that she's left behind
It's all about the exposure the lens I told her
The angels were all wrong now
She's ripping wings off of butterflies
keep your feet on the ground
when your head's in the clouds
Well go get your shovel
And we'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
So one day he found her crying
Coiled up on the dirty ground
Her prince finally came to save her
And the rest you can figure out
But it was a trick
And the clock struck 12
Well make sure to build your house brick by boring brick
or the wolves gonna blow it down
keep your feet on the ground
when your head's in the clouds
Well go get your shovel
And we'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
Well you built up a world of magic
Because your real life is tragic
Yeah you built up a world of magic
If it's not real
You can't hold it in your hand
You can't feel it with your heart
And I won't believe it
But if it's true
You can see it with your eyes
Oh even in the dark
And that's where I want to be, yeah
Go get your shovel
We'll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle

i am

sick of this stupid fucking project
sick of working at least 35 hours a week
sick of not having time for anything
sick of not having time to even think
sick of not having anyone to vent to
sick of not having any help
sick of being used
sick of crying from being stressed out
sick of headaches
sick of talking
sick of everything being unfair
sick of complaining
sick of it not helping
sick of being mad
sick of trying to look pretty
sick of trying to lose weight
sick of test
sick of worrying
sick of thinking
sick of trying
sick of


life.

and i get a little scared,

I just got my hair cut. I'm hoping it will look better once I dye it. If not, oh well.

I want to look like my default picture again. But my hair doesn't take long to grow at all, which is good. I'm not saying I don't like it. I do. The color just makes it look worse I think.

I should be working on my senior project right now. Don't feel like it! I need to get xmas shopping too. :/// i neeed moreeee tiiiime.

My boyfriend's sister's dog died today- He broke out of the door and got hit by a car :'( He was a great dane and was about a year old (but was still huge), blond and adorable. He was so sweet and goofy, you'd love him. I'm in tears just typing this.


It's just so weird that i'll never see that sweet puppy again.
All i can say is, I hope Walker beat the shit out of that car.






i'll miss you like crazy Walker