I

got new speakers, and I love them. I'm deciding on my appt at view askew. He has a spot saved for me, I just gotta call 'em and tell him I want it. Anyway, I don't feel so hot. So I'm going to lay down and watch roseanne. :)

I have worked

38 hours, in the past six days. My paycheck better be awesome or I am going to bitch...bitch....and bitch some more.
I am so glad that school is over with. I'm going to miss Art class, yearbook, Mr. Wagstaff, ms lynn, ms goodnight, ms kiefer, uhhhhh, mr robertson, ms williams.
But I could always go and see them. So I don't mind. Anyways, being out of school gives me time to do things for me. I haven't been able to do that in so long. I've been exercising, bleaching my teeth, wearing pretty make up, and relaxing. And it feels so good. I'm planning to start going to the tanning bed a little bit. I stopped going for awhile and saying that I wouldn't go. But a few times won't hurt, and that's all it'll take for my pale skin to get some color, just a few times.

I'm saving up my money to buy some new speakers for my car, since all mine do is rattle. It's so ANNOYING. Because when I'm by myself, my music is really loud and it rattles even worse. Then I'm going to buy me a few new clothes. Other than that i'm saving it.

My mom told me my "papaw" as I call him (I hate typing that it sounds so much worse than when you say it) is giving me $2000 when I graduate. It's insane because I've never had over 400 to my name, ever. And I'm saving that and putting it towards a new car. Don't get me started on what I would get. I have no clue. I love cars so much that it's an impossible decision.

I'm sleeping better once again. Even though I'm up right now, doing this. I have to be at work at 11 am tomorrow. Oh well. Hopefully I get off when I'm supposed to. I'm getting tired of working. But I need it. That's life! How wonderful, right?

hewo

I'm laying in the bed listening to it rain. And bleaching my teeth. I haven't done this in forever. It tastes disgusting. :(

Anyways... Anyone who knows me knows that I don't get scared a lot at all.
Well, I watched Paranormal Activity last night, and laying in my bed alone is a lot more difficult than it has been before. Just sayin'. I'm creeping myself out.
I don't advise anyone to watch it by yourself, or sleep by yourself after watching it.

Ghosts don't scare me at all. Nothing really ever has. But a demon, is a different story. It might not have been a big deal to anyone else, but I guess I just thought about it too much.

Anyways, i'd like to stop thinking about it.


skdjgklsdgsd I feel like i'm going to throw up because i just swallowed some of this bleaching stuff. I'll be back

Keeping my own head up

seems weird when you used to do it for me. I am damaged at best, like you've already figured out. I'm holding on, i'm barely holding onto you. I'm hanging on another day, just to see what you will throw my way. And I'm hanging on to the words you say.
You said that I will be okay.

I love Lifehouse. I love the calm music, and his voice.
Everything by Lifehouse, I want that song played at my wedding. Go listen. It makes me cry everytime.
-----------------


Find Me Here
Speak To Me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
You are the light
That's leading me
To the place where I find peace again.

You are the strength, that keeps me walking.
You are the hope, that keeps me trusting.
You are the light to my soul.
You are my purpose...you're everything.

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

You calm the storms, and you give me rest.
You hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall.
You steal my heart, and you take my breath away.
Would you take me in? Take me deeper now?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
And how can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Cause you're all I want, You're all I need
You're everything,everything
You're all I want your all I need
You're everything, everything.
You're all I want you're all I need.
You're everything, everything
You're all I want you're all I need, you're everything, everything.

And How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?
How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

How can I stand here with you and not be moved by you?
Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

Would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

<3

I just need you to try.

I will not let you go

I had a bad dream last night. It was weird. Adam had gotten another girlfriend. I was at his house for some reason and she was there with him. It was so sad, I really don't know what I would do. I don't mean to sound cheesy, but I would be lost. Anyways.... the girl said something, and I reached and hit her in the face really hard and she fell to the ground. She kept saying stuff and I told her to come outside. Outside, I beat her with a broomstick at first and then kept punching her. And left crying.

Isn't that weird? That's probably what would really happen to tell you the truth. Haha. So if you know anyone trying to take my bf, advise them not to. Haha :D
I felt really weird when I woke up, I was crying a little. I HATE that. I hate having dreams and waking up scared, or shaking, or crying. I'm laying in my mom's bed right now and it's so comfortable.

I like being alone sometimes. I'm weird.

I can't believe Wednesday is my last day of highschool. It amazes me, but how many times have I said that? Plenty enough.

"My love for you is so overpowering, I'm afraid that I will disappear"

I need to visit Mr. Jason Sheeley (?)
;)


"Well, two spinning spheres, two spinning spheres in a bed of stars. Silence is super. Staring into space, I wonder where you are. You're all that I've ever needed. I know that you won't feel it. Drift out into darkness, lost out on horizon. It's alright, it's alright. I'll be your respirator. I'll be your pressure suit. It's alright, it's alright. Violently clear the upper atmosphere, raging out your heart. Somewhere far beneath, your pointed tongue and teeth, is where you really are. Drift out into darkness, lost out on horizon. It's alright, it's alright. I'll be your respirator. I'll be your pressure suit. It's alright, it's alright. I'll be your pressure suit. It's alright, it's alright. I will not let you go. Two spinning spheres, they spin together. I'm gon' spin alone. I don't know how I can do this. I don't know how to get through. It's alright, It's alright. I can't stop loving you. It's alright, It's alright. I'll be your respirator. I'll be your pressure suit. It's alright, It's alright. I'll be your four leaf clover. I'll be your pressure suit. I'll be your angel wings. I'll be your parachute. I'll be your running reason. I'll be your only reason. I can't stop loving you.
It's alright, It's alright. I'll be your respirator. I'll be your pressure suit."

F.Y.I

You can't say you hate drama, but cause it. It's backwards, and makes no sense. I don't see why it's so hard for people to say things to people in person.

2 more days. Of highschool, I mean. I would like to thank God for getting me through this tretcherous time. I am also thankful to have the senior project over with. That's a 4,000 lbs. elephant that was taken off my back. I'm sorry Jessica, and Skylar, for you having to do it next semester. Just try and start and finish early. It'll work out better. I finished mine completely today. Haha.

I feel like I'm going to be stressing less now. No exams after the 20th, and no more senior project. That was the biggest problem. Then i'll get a few months off. Which i'm excited about.

I feel like i'm growing up a little bit. I don't know why. I guess because I graduate in 2 days. Haha. I got a feverblister this morning, (surprise surprise), the day of presentation. It's like those commercials where they get the pimples on picture day. It sux. :) I'm in kind of a good mood right now and I don't know why. I'm also ready for another tat. But I already said that.

Anyways, I think that's all for now. I can't think of anything else to talk about.

your punches taste like candy, bitch

Hahaha. This semester has gone by so fast. I'm presenting tomorrow, TOMORROW. I cannot believe that. I really hope I do good. Every time i've practiced my speech tonight i've done really good. But no matter what, tomorrow, when I get in front of those judges, i'll screw up. I have practiced over and over again. I'm pretty sure I have it down, but like I said, I WILL mess up.. somehow.

Anyways. I will be SOOOO glad to get this finished. Dear god. I'm going to throw a party for myself if I pass. Because i'm tired of working on this stupid shit.

I have 3 more days left of High School. Three days. Then I'm done. I actually get a break. Then it all starts again. Life sucks. haha.

I'm going to try to start wearing make up more, again. I just never feel like waking up early enough to put it on, and a lot of times it's hard to get off. I want another tat reallllllll bad.

And i want a few more clothes to wear. I wear the crap out of the clothes I have. I need some more money, but our hours got cut at work. So i'll probably have to work 2 jobs. Ha, wouldn't surprise me. Oh yeah, and I need some speakers for my car, cause mine are busted. EH

i have my

good days and my bad days, and I wish it wasn't like that. I wish I had good days all the time.
But the good news is, i have today, and tomorrow off. I think saturday, i'm not sure. And it feels pretty amazing.

Bad news is- hours got cut at work. That seems good. But it's not, even if you want to work, you can't. It's less money. But I can't complain.

It's getting SO close to (our) graduation. I'm excited. And I'm excited to have at least a month off.

Anyways, i'm tired, and like I said, I'm going to try and do this more. But I end up waiting until the last minute, like tonight. Haha.

I'm excited to put my music on keegans ipod. I havent had an ipod in forever and she told me I could use hers since she doesn't. I even bought new headphones for it today :)

Well, goodnight and good riddance. haha.
I hope there's at least a 2 hour delay tomorrow. If not a day out.